The Christmas Spirit

“I just don’t have the Christmas spirit,” she said and sighed.
“What does that mean?” I asked, trying to challenge her a little bit.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “But whatever it is, I don’t have it. And I should.”
“You should, huh?” I asked. “According to who?”
Just then a car came by, headed in the opposite direction. Multi-colored lights dangled inside from the car’s ceiling. We laughed.
“That guy has the Christmas spirit,” I said.
Minutes later we turned down a side street and saw a stop sign wrapped in a pine garland. Maybe not as cool as the guy with the dangling Christmas lights in his car, but I still managed a smile. About a block or so later we saw an almost palatial brick home, draped with Christmas lights. Curiously, the display also included a neon palm tree along with a couple pink flamingoes. We chuckled at this “Christmas in paradise” theme.

I drove home and uncharacteristically didn’t turn on the radio or my mp3 player. It was just me and my thoughts. So my friend didn’t have this mysterious “Christmas spirit”, whatever that was. Did I? I couldn’t honestly say, because I didn’t really have a handle on what that was. I thought about the events of the past year or so… good things, bad things and maybe even some wonderful things. It was very easy for me, at least at that point, to make a case that I had pretty much had my ass handed to me by the events of the past few months.
I was almost home when another friend called me, responding to a voice mail I had left the day before. We exchanged the usual pleasantries and then I proceeded to tell him that a former co-worker of ours had just spent a few months in prison for a felony charge of “obstructing justice”.
“You know,” he said, and I could picture him shaking his head ruefully,”that guy’s gonna spend the rest of his life in and out of prison.”
I had to agree.

It was about 1:30am and I was about halfway through a “Walker, Texas Ranger” rerun. Despite the fact that I was tired to the bone, I simply couldn’t get to sleep. I flashed back to a conversation I had earlier that evening with another friend.
“I’m just going to hold on to some hope for a little while,” I said. “Maybe I need that right now.”
Ah-ha. That was it.
That’s the Christmas spirit. Hope. Even the more secular, cynical and jaded among us can choose hope.
Hope for the future.
Hope for our children.
Hope for peace.
Hope for happiness.
Hope for those who need it.
Christmas is the season of hope. That’s a gift you can give both to others and yourself.

Responsibility

In my previous blog post, I made reference to taking responsibility versus taking blame. Yes, there is a difference. First of all responsibility is a positive thing. Taking responsibility is means you have some control over, at least, your reaction to the situation and hopefully the outcome. Blame has a much more negative connotation, plus (to me at least) there’s nothing there other than the blame itself… it gets placed on one party or another and that’s that. Blame has no power other than making you resentful at yourself or others. When you take responsibility you give yourself power and control.
It’s occurred to me that I’ve approached this whole responsibility/ blame dichotomy in exactly the opposite way I should have. I’ve become aware I’ve blamed myself for things that are not really my fault. I’ve blamed others for, among other things, how I feel about myself and my life. Basically, I’ve blamed myself for the very things I should take responsibility for as well as things that were simply not my fault.
Tsk, tsk.
When I take responsibility for my life, inside and out, that’s when I can start to effect change and make progress. All blame does, whether it’s directed at yourself or at others, is breed negative emotions (and usually a fair amount of whining). Taking responsibility gives you power. Placing blame takes it away.

There will be those days you might slip into a state of self-pity. What then?
Take action.
Take some kind of action. It almost doesn’t matter what. You’ll keep yourself from wallowing in the self-pity gutter plus you might even make something good happen.
When you take action, you take responsibility. Simple as that.

2009

“How was 2008 for you? Was it great? Was it less than great? I have good news for you too, this is your chance to punch the reset button and start anew.
I love this time of the year. January 1 is a chance to be reborn. No matter who you are or where you are now, everyone comes back to the starting line again. Once the clock strikes midnight on December 31, all the pains, joys, successes, or failures are wiped clean, and the door on the previous year shuts forever. All you bring forward are the wisdoms you have gained from the years thus traveled.”
Darren Hardy, Publisher, Success Magazine

Let’s start a movement, you and I. First, let me explain…
By most measures my life kind of, well… sucks right now. I simply did not have the best year. Much of what’s at issue with me right now is my fault.
I’ve been irresponsible at times.
I’ve let my emotions make decisions for me.
I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes.
All this accounts for the position I’m in right now. I take full responsibility for the mistakes I’ve made. What I won’t do, however, is take all the blame. I know this sounds like the merest semantic difference to many of you, but it makes perfect sense to me. Not all of my problems are completely my fault. I’ve been lied to and screwed over. I’ve been badly mistreated by people who I once thought cared about me and my future.
C’ vest la vie. So what now?
Now is a great opportunity to reassess where you’re at in your life and set some goals on how you’re going to make 2009 the best year of your life (or in my case, at least better than 2008… which shouldn’t be too hard).
You can set goals in just about any sphere of your life. It’s up to you.
· Relationships- Are there some relationships you need to shore up? Maybe there’s some you need to get out of. I know it sounds harsh to more or less kick people out of your life, but that is one area that I’ve had some success in throughout the past year. I’ve gotten some very negative people away from me and made room for those who have a much more positive influence on me and my life (if you think I’m referring to you, you’re probably right).
· Health- You might need to lose some weight. You might need to get more fit. It doesn’t matter which. Just freakin’ do it!
· Career- Maybe this is the year you get your career back on track, get promoted or finally get the schooling you need. Whatever the case may be, let’s make 2009 the year you finally get it done.

Here are my goals…
· Be the best dad I can. This is, without question, my most important goal.
· Get a new job. A good one, with a great company.
· Get published. I’m full of big talk about being a writer. Let’s see if I can make a go of it.

Just so you don’t think I’m all doom and gloom, I have to say that despite the rather considerable rough spots I’ve experienced in 2008, I’ve managed to experience some wonderful things…
· I have the most amazing children you can imagine. The three of them never cease to amaze me and never cease to make me want to be a better person and a better dad.
· I’ve had the good fortune to make the acquaintance of one of the finest people I have ever known, someone who believes in me and cares for me no matter what. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.

So here’s what I propose we all do…
Push your limits…
Be fearless…
Kick some ass…
Etc…
I hope you want to join me on this quest- if you do, leave a comment on this blog entry. I once inspired someone with something I wrote. I hope I've done that for you today. So let's start a movement, you and I. Let's make 2009 the best year we possibly can.

Good guys and bad guys

A few days ago I was having one of my whinier moments. I called someone who I knew would set me straight. Among other things I was bemoaning the fact that, at least relative to me, the bad guys were winning. I pointed three specific instances that I thought proved my point.
“Maybe so,” my friend said. “But they don’t win in the long-term.”
I had to concede at that point because, well… she’s always right. This time, though, the universe conspired with her and proved her point.
Witness the recent sentencing of O.J. Simpson. Whether or not he actually committed those murders he was accused of years ago, he’s pretty much acted like a complete asshat since he was acquitted. Just one example… that book he wrote called, “If I Did It”. I mean seriously…
This morning we woke up to the news that the Governor of our fair state of Iliinois is now in federal custody for what has been called a “political corruption crime spree”. Here’s the complete criminal complaint in the event you’re in the mood for a little light reading…
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/msnbc/sections/news/081209_FINAL_complaint_cover_and_aff.pdf
As for me and my “bad guys”? They’ll get theirs.

I guarantee it.